


Behind a Waterfall, Before the Pyre

by Persephone_Kore



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Canonical Character Death mentioned, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-09-16 01:39:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9268067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Persephone_Kore/pseuds/Persephone_Kore
Summary: TPM, shortly before Qui-Gon's funeral. The thunder of a waterfall and Yoda's silence give Obi-Wan shelter to feel until he's ready to think. His Knighting and a promise give shelter to Anakin.





	

The stone beneath him was cold and very slightly uneven, lumpy, though the surface was smooth and slick. Dampness seeped up through the fabric that cushioned his knees, and he could feel his boots squeak if he shifted his weight. Most of his skin was dry, the moisture in the air not penetrating the shield of his clothing, but a fine spray misted his face every few breaths. It was refreshing.

His eyes were open and unfocused. There was little light, and the occasional faint gleam was moon-silver fractured into rainbows. He couldn't see the rainbows; they weren't bright enough to activate human color vision. But he could feel the spectral splay when they passed through the water.

The waterfall he rested behind thundered in his ears, loudly enough to drown out his heartbeat.

When he closed his eyes, he still saw red light and heard its dispassionate electronic hum.

The Sith's lightsaber was minor. The buzzing in his ears, the scarlet across his vision, were the force fields that had held him back. He had been too slow. Qui-Gon hadn't waited. Qui-Gon had rushed ahead alone, not waiting to work as a team; Qui-gon had been confident that Obi-Wan would keep up, and Obi-Wan had failed him; Qui-Gon had sought to protect him by drawing the Sith away. Obi-Wan was too drained and his head too full of buzzing red lights to meditate or to think rationally about which it was.

He liked the waterfall. It gave him privacy. It blotted vision and drowned sound, as long as he focused on it.

_On the here and now._

Qui-Gon might have approved. Qui-Gon might even have said that staring into the waterfall and letting it fill his eyes and ears was a form of meditation in itself.

For Qui-Gon, it probably would have been.

Perhaps Obi-Wan was meditating too, in a way. At least, he was sufficiently in tune with the Force to feel the tap of stick and scratch of clawed feet on uneven rocks when he could not possibly have heard it, and he was unsurprised when Master Yoda walked behind the waterfall. Obi-Wan shifted to the side, and Yoda sat next to him. There was just room.

They sat in the water-thunder for a while without speaking. Obi-Wan decided the third moon had risen, since the glints of light came brighter and more often.

At last Master Yoda said, "A Jedi Knight, you are, Obi-Wan Kenobi."

Obi-Wan blinked. "So you mentioned before. I admit I'm still surprised by the decision."

"A greater Trial than most have you passed."

"I lost my temper."

"And found it, too." 

"I failed my Master."

"Disagree, Qui-Gon would. He gave you his trust." Yoda was silent again, then looked up at him. "Wish to come again before the Council to cut your braid, you do not, I think."

Ah, so that was why Yoda had come. Obi-Wan shook his head and felt the damp length of the braid drag on his shoulder. "No. But I suppose I must."

"No." The gravelly voice was barely audible.

After a moment Obi-Wan turned his head toward Master Yoda and bowed it. Hot green lit the small cave for less than a second, and the noise burned in his ear.

"Your oath you may record later, for the Republic," Yoda grunted. "No words do I need from you."

Obi-Wan nodded and wrapped his hand around the slender cord of hair. His head felt light and slightly off balance, and his shoulder and neck tickled with the feeling that something was missing. A spray of water left fine droplets on his lips.

Qui-Gon was missing, and some words did need to be spoken. "I take Anakin Skywalker as my Padawan Learner."

Yoda huffed, loudly enough to be heard over the water. "You do! And have him, you will."

"As the Council has agreed. But you don't, or so you told me." That had been strange to him. He had heard the Council debate before, if briefly. He had not previously heard one of them, especially Master Yoda, of all possibilities, bow to the group's decision and still declare objections. 

"Like him, you do not."

"No." Obi-Wan frowned slightly. That was hardly a good start, he had to admit. "Perhaps I will learn to." That tasted true.

"Think him dangerous, you do!"

"Yes." Had he admitted that before the Council? A moonbeam shot through the water and struck his fingernail, where his hand rested on his knee. "As do you. But Qui-Gon saw something else in him, and I made a promise." Qui-Gon had liked the boy. Anakin had liked Qui-Gon. That meant the boy was right about _something_. The thought made him smile, and shock at that almost made him laugh.

It didn't hurt any less, but this was right.

Yoda grunted again, getting to his feet. "Tell the Council it is done, I will," he said. "Have a Jedi Master past eight hundred years as your errand boy, you do! Hehn." His ears flared forward. "Unless more arguments you have for me, first."

Obi-Wan closed his eyes and saw a deluge of water, and moonbeams in tiny rainbows. "I'm not going to argue, Master Yoda," he said deliberately. "I'm not even going to try."

"There is no _try_."

"Exactly. I will _do_." He opened his eyes. "What I already said I'd do."

Yoda's stick cracked loudly across Obi-Wan's knuckles before the old Jedi left. 

Obi-Wan didn't move. The blow did not sting, and it left no mark.

The spot tingled, though, when he felt another set of footsteps approach. These ones swayed and slid over unfamiliarly water-slicked stones until Anakin, half-soaked, slipped behind the waterfall and fell sprawling halfway across Obi-Wan's lap.

Obi-Wan set him upright without comment and let him settle. He felt as if Anakin sat closer to him than Master Yoda had, and the feeling didn't seem to be only because Anakin took up more of the small space. Or because Anakin was less still.

After most of the squirming was over, Obi-Wan glanced sideways. Anakin was sitting with his head down, not watching the moonbeams. 

"Did Master Yoda send you?" Obi-Wan asked. 

Anakin answered without raising his head. "No, sir. But he told me where you were." A short hesitation. "Does that mean I should go?" 

"No. I was curious, that's all." Obi-Wan turned back toward the waterfall; the spray fell across his open eyes this time. The noise wrapped around him, his robe clinging heavily and comfortingly around his shoulders in the damp. 

Anakin wasn't quite shivering, but he still gave the impression of being chilled. Obi-Wan wondered if he ought to hug him. He wasn't particularly in the habit of hugs himself, but some of his friends were -- and when you were hugged by someone with four arms and the strength and enthusiasm of Dexter Jettster, you knew you'd been hugged. Anakin, he thought, had probably been in the habit of it. Living with his mother, and all. The boy did need to let go of his old life, though, and Obi-Wan shouldn't be making that more difficult. 

He sighed and draped an arm over Anakin's shoulders anyway. Anakin jumped, stiffened, and then evidently took this as permission to scoot closer. Obi-Wan doubted that this was really much more affectionate on Anakin's part than his own; he hadn't exactly been friendly or welcoming to Qui-Gon's new charge. His now. He sighed again. 

"They said there's going to be a funeral," Anakin said. "They said they're going to burn him." 

Qui-Gon's funeral. It would be later tonight, when the moons began to set. There should be just enough time for the pyre to burn to completion before sunrise. "Yes." Obi-Wan glanced down at him. "Burning the body symbolizes letting go of his old life and state of being." Which was going to be difficult. "Why? What do you do on Tatooine?"

"Bury them," Anakin said. "And put down rocks or something so nothing digs them up. At least, if we get a chance." He looked down at his hands. "I miss him."

"Yes, well. We still have to let go." At least the red buzzing had stopped. Obi-Wan let out another quiet sigh. "I miss him too."

The waterfall poured down before them. They did not speak again until the first moon dropped behind the mountain, taking some of the rainbows with it. 

Yoda was watching for them when they returned.

As Qui-Gon's apprentice, Obi-Wan lit the pyre. The flames spread quickly, and the dry heat lashed out to drive the cold dampness from his robes. 

The flames crackled and roared, making him think of the waterfall. The smoke rose twisting straight up without stinging his eyes. 

He did not weep, but he could see rainbows in the fire.


End file.
